Act V Scene III

One of the ways I like to pitch Shakespeare to the kids I teach is to demonstrate how the body of work we call Shakespeare sets up the basic structures of current forms of drama. Thinking in this way also causes me (sometimes) to see my life in this framework. Now, I have to say that this impulse does go against my natural tendancy to try and NOT see my life like a movie or a hallmark card or whathaveyou, but sometimes, dammit, it's just appropriate. Case-in-point: I have begun writing the final essay for my last class of my career as a student. 4000 words stand between me, a graduate degree, and an army of creditors coming for thier pound of flesh. As I pace out this final act, I wonder if I will find myself walking out of a comedy or a tragedy. Either way, Tuesday marks an end to a version of life I've been living for six years now.

I suppose that's at the heart of it (this blog, I mean). In orbit around me are a set of circumstances at play which, in the very near future, will effectively transform my current situation in almost every way. Of course those regular tennants of life will remain the same: friends, family, the various challenges of a love life ect...but the structures around which these aspects of life are dealt with, for me, are in the midts of transformation. I find this both a scary and very exciting time. But it's not necessarily the 'unknown' that I am launching into, but the 'non-descript'. I am no longer 'a student'. It's a precious title that affords one much freedom and space to ignore most of what embittered baby-boomers call 'The Real World'.

I feel as if I must somehow answer to some undefined group or complex of people for my time spent as a student. Like there is this collective voice I hear as I walk out of my apartment that says: "Ok, we did our part..." "Who, or what does this voice belong to?" I ask myself, and then realize that whether internal or external, this voice is there and has dug its heels in. Deep.

As I boldly go where countless have gone before, I hope to answer this voice with poise and courage, to face the non-descript with some integrity of character, to walk out on my balcony and hoist a giant middle finger to all of those forces that pressure us into some definable version of success. I am, afterall, in pursuit of those momentary and lasting hapinesses that make life worth living above and beyond all else, and the only real thing I fear about this next stage is losing sight of that in the desert of the workin' stiff's Real World.

Well I've finally taken the dive. It's been a debate (I'm not going to lie) but in the end, as it is with so many other things in life, I have caved to the irresistable siren song of: "Everybody else is doing it!"

For a long time I've wanted a blog, but, I've also always had mixed feelings about the practice of blogging. There are times when I think these spaces offer some kind of alternative space for thought and expression that is somehow less influenced by all of the mind-warping crap that hits us every time we walk out the door. Posting can be a kind of 'knowing glance' that you share with readers. It's all the stuff you'd say in a play (or in life ;)) when you're involved in one of those 'aside' moments. But on the other hand I also tend to complain from time to time about how people should just talk to eachother more in person instead of using things like MSN, E-Mail, Blogs, or the phone ect... I would hate for all the good that blogs bring to occur at the cost of some good old fashionned person to person time, since so many things in life conspire against that already.

In any case I guess we'll just have to see which way this plays out...