mas maris ex machina
A funny thing happened to me the last time I was up north visiting the folks. Something that happens every once and a while...
I was changing the oil on my car when (while under the vehicle) my dad pulls in the driveway. I slowly get out from under the car as he approaches with a sly smile on his face. Looking on with approval at the fact that I managed not to make a mess of his driveway, or get myself pinned under the jacked up car, he says: "So, you still know how to do this stuff, eh?" In man speak a comment like this is tantamount to that music that plays when two gunslingers are about to have it out in some dusty corral. Being that it's my dad, I chuckle and tell him that even though I've been pushing a pencil for the last few years I haven't fallen completely to the dark side. If it were, say, my friend Ed (who is pretty small for a giant) I'd have clocked him right then and there. Not in the face, mind you, but a good solid left hook to that meaty part where your shoulder meets your collar bone. Why would I do this? Because in the manverse you don't take that kind of shit!
Ever since it stopped being ok to be a mamma's boy I've been keenly interested in the machinations of masculinity. And while I feel like I've gained some perspective over the years, and try to be an individual above and beyond my social programming, I still can't resist the call of machismo form time to time. Fixin' cars, chopping wood (hmmm...), doing anything that involves putting small parts together to make bigger ones (construction), or breaking big parts into smaller ones (demolition) leaves me with a throbbing impulse to check in the kitchen for a beautiful, apronned, and suspiciously barefooted woman making me lemonade. Hopefully those who know me will give me the benefit of the doubt here and not interpret this either as: 1) in your face sexism or 2) some lame ass Christian confessionalism. It's neither, I assure you.
I am speaking from a place of curiosity, and I suppose, the assumption that this may be a shared curiosity amongst people in general. For example: am I merely falling into some sort of culturally normative bear trap when my brain sends out feel good vibes over being able to swing an ax really well? Or is there actually something to this desire to engage in gendered activities that works towards my happiness as a complete person? These aren't really new questions by any means, but they are fresh in my head these days. And while I sort of tend to campaign against the constructs of gender and the limitations they impose upon free thinking people, I still like the fact that somewhere inside, I get a kick out of various ways in which men's men get their hands dirty. Hmmm...I think I hear a leaky faucet in the apt. next door...think I'll go take a look...
A funny thing happened to me the last time I was up north visiting the folks. Something that happens every once and a while...
I was changing the oil on my car when (while under the vehicle) my dad pulls in the driveway. I slowly get out from under the car as he approaches with a sly smile on his face. Looking on with approval at the fact that I managed not to make a mess of his driveway, or get myself pinned under the jacked up car, he says: "So, you still know how to do this stuff, eh?" In man speak a comment like this is tantamount to that music that plays when two gunslingers are about to have it out in some dusty corral. Being that it's my dad, I chuckle and tell him that even though I've been pushing a pencil for the last few years I haven't fallen completely to the dark side. If it were, say, my friend Ed (who is pretty small for a giant) I'd have clocked him right then and there. Not in the face, mind you, but a good solid left hook to that meaty part where your shoulder meets your collar bone. Why would I do this? Because in the manverse you don't take that kind of shit!
Ever since it stopped being ok to be a mamma's boy I've been keenly interested in the machinations of masculinity. And while I feel like I've gained some perspective over the years, and try to be an individual above and beyond my social programming, I still can't resist the call of machismo form time to time. Fixin' cars, chopping wood (hmmm...), doing anything that involves putting small parts together to make bigger ones (construction), or breaking big parts into smaller ones (demolition) leaves me with a throbbing impulse to check in the kitchen for a beautiful, apronned, and suspiciously barefooted woman making me lemonade. Hopefully those who know me will give me the benefit of the doubt here and not interpret this either as: 1) in your face sexism or 2) some lame ass Christian confessionalism. It's neither, I assure you.
I am speaking from a place of curiosity, and I suppose, the assumption that this may be a shared curiosity amongst people in general. For example: am I merely falling into some sort of culturally normative bear trap when my brain sends out feel good vibes over being able to swing an ax really well? Or is there actually something to this desire to engage in gendered activities that works towards my happiness as a complete person? These aren't really new questions by any means, but they are fresh in my head these days. And while I sort of tend to campaign against the constructs of gender and the limitations they impose upon free thinking people, I still like the fact that somewhere inside, I get a kick out of various ways in which men's men get their hands dirty. Hmmm...I think I hear a leaky faucet in the apt. next door...think I'll go take a look...
posted by Kevin at 11:00 p.m.
5 Comments:
Hey Kevin- Journal looks good, I plan to comment more in the future.
For me, aside from being a tech nerd about computers, I'm not really interested in the actual "machinations" of masculinity. Instead, I find the physical performance of gender to be particularly strange: the way that men will stand when talking in a distinctly masculine moment. Imagine every cliche of dudes talking in a circle on a factory floor, pelvis' stuck out and canned beverages in hand.
Similarly, I find there's a strange silence that goes along with masculinity. Like when men are standing together or are involved in some project together, verboseness or talking in general is somehow unmasculine. I find this strange.
I appreciate your desire to sorta court this masculinity, but at the same time, what we do is masculine - reading books, talking shit and generally not working with our 'hands' is a masculine activity (as though those things could even be gendered). Its not the 'ye olde rugged manne' aesthetic of masculinity that we're sold, but I think its a more nuanced and interesting masculinity all the same. Then again, maybe I'm just a big pussy.
There's a band called Le Tigre which deals a lot with gender and performance. Might be worth checking out.
Paul, yes I understand what you mean...esp. about the 'silences' in masculine performance. And I don't think reading, thinking, and talking are pussy-ish things to do... I think I'll check out that band Le Tigre.
Dil, lol...yes I thought I might raise a few eyebrows with this post...glad to hear that you are giving me the benefit of the doubt. This gender performance thing is sort of absurd in alot of ways but somehow irresistable at times. Though, I think if I found a partner that was always ready for sex...I really wouldn't care if she could cook or not!
There's a wonderful Monty Python sketch this has made me think of, which has the coalminer son coming home to face the disapproval of his playwright father...the way that Python handles gender constructs is pretty neat.
The negotiation between class differences and gender roles is also pretty neat, I think.
fineskylark wrote: "The negotiation between class differences and gender roles is also pretty neat, I think."
One of the things working class men get in life is to be masculine. Professionals, business folk, academics, artists, these people don't get to be real men. They only get to be real men to the extent that they appropriate working class activities or culture.
paul b: nice try. Reading books is a "more nuanced and interesting masculinity"?! You're warping the meaning of the word. What the hell is a 'nuanced' masculinity?
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